Whenever we think of relationships our brains automatically default to monogamous relationships between a man and a woman. Although that is still the most prevalent type of relationship, there are other types of relationships coming to the forefront. Gay marriage, polygamy (the practice or custom of having more than one wife or husband at the same time.) and polyamory (the practice of engaging in multiple romantic relationships with the consent of all the people involved.) are all becoming more and more mainstream.

Growing Acceptance

In 2015 the Supreme Court ruled to legalize gay marriage in all 50 states. Considering the ratings tv shows such as Sister Wives and Polygamy USA received, people are at the very least curious about the polygamist lifestyle. Major magazines such as Glamour and Women’s Health have done articles diving into polyamory (not synonymous with polygamy) because it is a topic in which they obviously felt their readers are becoming more interested. The new attention these various relationship dynamics are receiving and the infidelity cited as a major factor in the high divorce rates experienced in “traditional” relationships, signal it may be time to change our societal norms.

The Status Quo

Secretary Of State Mike Pompeo opposes gay marriage and said upon the legalizing of gay marriage by the US Supreme Court “It is a shocking abuse of Power. It is wrong. I will continue to fight to protect our most sacred institutions.” Utah has laws that not only ban polygamy (having multiple marriage licenses) like the other 49 states, but their law goes far enough to say that another adult can’t even cohabitate with the legal spouses in a way where they appear to be part of the marriage.

Please Don’t Cite Your Religious Holy Book

If someone is sexually inclined toward the same sex, meets someone, falls in love and chooses to get married they are following the exact same path “traditional” relationships have followed. You can talk all day about how the Bible or Quran is against homosexuality and make that your platform, but please make sure you don’t live in a glass house before you throw stones. In the Bible Leviticus 11:2-24 and Isaiah 65:4 both speak on forbidden foods that many Bible citers still continue to eat. Exodus 21:2-11, 20-21, Ephesians 6:5-9, Colossians 3:22 and countless other Bible verses tell slaves and masters how to relate to and deal with each other instead of being opposed to the enslavement of a human being. Matthew 5:31-32, Mark 10:11-12, and Luke 16:18 tells any of you divorced persons that even if you remarry you will be considered an adulterer for the rest of your life in God’s eyes. The Quran has MANY parallels to the Bible and contains a lot of the same admonishments. Yet homosexuality is the ONE thing you want to conveniently pull out your holy book to rage against? Give me a break.

Religion Actually Has A Place For Polygamy And Polyamory

 THIS article in USA today states that as of 2018 40-50% of marriages in the US end in divorce. A number of studies have found that infidelity is one of the main reasons for divorce. For people who have been included in those statistics, practicing polygamy or polyamory may have been better for all parties involved. However, they BELIEVE in some cases that it would go against their religion. Here we go again, back to the holy books. Muslims get this one close to right as multiple marriages are allowed and not shunned in Islam. However, many Christians turn their noses up at the idea when the prophets of the BIBLE engaged in polygamy and polyandry themselves. Abraham’s wife gave her maidservant Hagar to her husband to have a child with, David had many wives and concubines, and Even Moses married both Zipporah and the unnamed Ethiopian woman. All of this, not to mention the verses taking another wife is not supposed to diminish your first wife kind of makes me wonder how many Bible thumpers have actually READ their Bibles. Be more truthful at least with yourself and simply say “I like to cherry pick which parts of the Bible I’d like to feel strongly about in order to use them against things that make me personally uncomfortable because they are outside of the societal norms I’m used to.”

Step Outside Of Your Stuffy Little Box

Do yourself the favor of getting to know some gay couples and allow yourself to see just how normal these relationships and marriages are. You simply don’t share their sexual orientation which is fine because they don’t share yours either. Get to know a family that practices polygamy or a couple in a polyamorous relationship. You’d be surprised what you could learn and how you could expand your mind.

Just Remember

Though previously “traditional” relationships between one man and one woman come to mind when the topic of marriage, dating, and relationships come up, times are changing. There are those who have chosen to live outside of the box; freed by the fact that they are no longer confined to doing what everyone else is doing just to get along. There are other types of relationships making their way into the mainstream and you need to accept this and adopt the motto “Live And Let Live”.