In the Netflix and chill, microwave situationship, side chick/side dude society we currently find ourselves in, dating and courtship is becoming somewhat of a lost art. There was a time where men declared their interest in a respectable manner, actively pursued and courted a woman, dated the woman, and eventually made her his wife.
Nowadays, initial interest is shown by a “What’s up” or “Hey beautiful” inbox message if you’re lucky, and a random penis pic if you’re not so lucky. Courtship has been reduced to sporadic messaging, in some cases with messaging being so infrequent that you forget who this person even is, accompanied by a few empty compliments. Instead of being asked “Would you like to go to lunch with me?” it’s become “Won’t you come over/Can I come over so we can chill?”
Why Has The Dating Scene Changed So Much?
Either many of our men have been reduced to this crudeness through the trappings of the current zeitgeist, or they have simply been tricked by it into believing that courting and dating have become obsolete. In case the former is true, this article will help to get the fellas back on track.
Any woman you’re interested in probably gets countless “Hey beautiful/gorgeous/sexy” inboxes/comments per day and has most likely become numb to it. Set yourself apart from the average by starting a conversation with her about something meaningful. Whether you’re meeting her on the street, a dating site, or on social media, you have to have observed something about her mannerisms, beliefs, the things she’s passionate about, etc. that would make for a much better conversation with a much more natural exchange. Trust me she’s much more likely to respond to a topic that actually means something to her, and she’ll remember your conversation long before she remembers yet another empty “Hey”. Also just a tip, some women deplore horrible grammar, terrible spelling, and an overabundance of slang.
It’s not uncommon to have a great first or even second conversation, however, what’s becoming more uncommon is consistent conversation. You may have that great convo on Monday, great convo on Tuesday, not hear from a person for several days, then they pop back up with “Hey”. It’s inconsistent and a thinking girl has to wonder if you are inconsistent at a time when most people put their best foot forward, that’s a definite red flag as it speaks to your ability to be consistent long-term. Once you have established a connection, maintain it by staying consistent with your communication. It will keep her from throwing you into the ” Waste of time” pile.
Don’t ask her over to your house or if you can come over to her house, but ask her on an actual date. Find out her availability, take a look at your availability, then take charge. Plan a date to a specific place on a defined day at a specific time. It sounds much better and is so much easier when you ask “Would you like to meet for lunch at Capozzi’s on Thursday at 12?” than to ask “When can I see you?” Be on time, and if something comes up at the last minute and you can’t make it, try to call and let her know as far in advance as possible. While on the date, remember to open doors, pull out chairs, and be respectful not only of your date but also others. These little things can make a big impression and really stick out with a woman.
Whether it was a good first date or a bad first date, follow up with her. If it was a bad date, don’t just inexplicably disappear on the woman. Man up and let her know that you don’t see things working out between the two of you. If you enjoyed the date, let her know. Tell her what made the date enjoyable, and go right ahead and see if she felt the same. If she did, schedule your next date. Either way, give feedback and ask for feedback in return. This way, there’s no guessing or assuming by either party.
Bring It Back Fellas
To the man who has his stuff together, this may seem like common sense, but dating and courtship in this day and age have changed so drastically that some guys definitely need a refresher course. Sadly, some women have succumbed to what passes as “dating” now so that even they need to be reminded of what they should be looking for. It goes without saying that there are different strokes for different folks, but just as 90s artists are making a comeback…PLEASE let dating rather than linking up also make a comeback. Date, marry, enjoy your moments in love.