Maybe you feel your local dating pool is depleted of anyone who meets your specific standards. Maybe you haven’t found anyone you’re compatible with, or who shows potential. Maybe you’re a homebody who spends more time on the computer than out in the world. It’s possible you simply decided to give online dating a try.
Whatever the reason may be, you’ve found yourself contemplating “Could I possibly handle an LDR (Long Distance Relationship)?” What happens when you find someone halfway across the world who seems to be everything you are looking for? Before you get too swept up in the possibilities and decide you want to try an LDR, there are a few very real aspects you need to consider. Be real with yourself when answering the following questions.
If you are the type of person who likes to know every move your partner makes, likes to be in constant contact with your mate, are easily irritated by innocuous comments the opposite sex makes on your mate’s social media pages, or whose mind races with every missed call or unanswered text…a LDR may not be for you. These things will only intensify in a long distance relationship. Depending on where your mate may be in the world, you may have different time zones to contend with which could make phone calls a bit more challenging. You may have to settle for a call or two a day, a few unreturned texts, and may actually miss a day of communication here and there.
Also yes, there may be plenty of members of the opposite sex lining up in your partner’s local vicinity to throw themselves at your mate. This may make you question his/her willpower, considering you can’t be physically close on a daily basis. You won’t be there to show your face and help mitigate those urges. You won’t know many of their social media friends so you won’t know if those commenting and putting the little heart eyed emoji on his/her pics are family, old friends, exes, or people who want your spot.
One app that may help ease your insecurities is the app Couple. Couple basically acts as a social media app just for you and your significant other. Read all of the features of this app HERE. Another app that has the ability to help you feel a better sense of connection to your partner is Happy Couple. Happy Couple will quiz you both daily on issues that matter, which can help strengthen emotional bonds.
Are you a very affectionate person?
If you need regular hugs and kisses, soft touches, and cuddling to feel connected to your partner, you’re not going to get that in a LDR. Many nights you will feel just as lonely as you did when you were single. At times it will feel even worse because you know you have someone, yet you can’t touch them. Knowing you have to wait a month or so to physically touch your partner may very well feel like torture. Lord forbid something unforeseen on either of your ends comes up that makes the time you were SUPPOSED to spend apart become even lengthier. You’ll have to get used to feeling deprived. There are a few devices that can help bridge the distance you feel, and one of them is the set of Max and Nora masturbators offered by Lovesense. These couples’ sex toys interact with each other so each of you can feel the other’s movements. read the full details HERE.
Do you have the time, money, and flexibility to travel somewhat frequently?
It’s not fair if only one party is doing all of the traveling, which means you’ll need to alternate. How much can you afford to travel? Every other month, every 3 or 4 months? Account for plane tickets, rental car, hotel accommodations, food, and spending money. You need to determine if and how much you can afford in order to plan out the year. You also have to possibly consider how much time you can take away from work. Do you need to make arrangements to have the plants watered and pets fed? Account for any other odds and ends and determine whether or not your mate can do the same.
At some point, someone has to move.
The end game of any LDR is that the two of you will eventually be together right? The question is WHERE will you be together. Are you ready and willing to uproot your life to move to East Jablip? If not, is your partner willing and ready to move to Timbukwho? It’s something the two of you will need to discuss pretty early on. If they are not willing to move, and you are not willing to move, there’s no use in going any further and wasting your time hoping they will eventually change their mind.
With all of that said, its still very possible
Long distance dating CAN be a viable option, as long as you go into it realistically. Make sure you take advantage of some of the LDR help aids linked in this article. There are many success stories that weren’t easy, but well worth it in the end. Whatever the reason you are contemplating a LDR, as long as you mentally equip yourself and work hard at it, you may find your happily ever after on the other side of the map.