There is a laundry list of Dos and Don’ts that are generally accepted in the social networking community that many of us have chosen to adopt and adhere to. However, some of us simply did not get the memo; for you, I offer this easy guide to what you should stop doing immediately on social media.
#1 No one but you and stalkers enjoy your selfie timeline overload
Your cute, we’re not haters so we don’t mind you showing that off sometimes. We actually like it. But if we saw it multiple times yesterday, and the day before that, and the day before that it becomes redundant. There are other ways to engage your friends that don’t come off so arrogant or desperate for likes. Even with picture-centric outlets like Instagram and Snapchat, there are many other interesting things to share with your followers besides your face… .yet again. Share a new dish you made or your favorite dish from your favorite restaurant. This catfish platter from O’Charleys will throw your diet way off but will be worth it.
You could also choose to post a cutesy pic of your kids or pets like this cute pic of Ms. Cupcake. Cupcake is slowly gaining her very own fan base. I’ll admit, as rambunctious as she is, she’s definitely a hilarious lil cutie pie. Or share something beautiful you come across while you’re out and about.
Whenever I pass these steps, they always look so ethereal to me. If you’re a real picture person like myself, there are a million things you can post throughout your day other than your face.
#2 Stop letting the world know who you’re dating and when.
Yes, new love can be inspiring, exciting, and have you blushing while bursting at the seams. You may be so happy that you just want to share it with everyone you know. There are several reasons I would tell you DON’T DO IT! First off, the minute people know who you’re dating, the gossip will begin. Each of you will start hearing stories about each other like who each of you used to date and exes will start coming out of the woodwork trying to get you both back. People who had crushes on you two while you were single but said nothing, will start showing up to make it known.
Secondly, everything you post now will be scrutinized in a different way, so even if you post a meme just because you agree with the sentiment people will assume it is a window into your new relationship. Thirdly, if it doesn’t work out between you and the new boo, the world gets to start keeping a counter of how many failed relationships you’ve had and of course they’re going to judge you.
That’s not to say you should act like your single. Make sure your partner feels secure by letting others know you are not on the market or looking, but they need no details beyond that. I mean, unless you’re announcing your engagement. (There’s no way you’re stopping a woman from announcing her engagement).
#3 We don’t need to know each and everything going on in your life.
It’s nice to keep up with what’s new with our friends and followers. We are there to offer words of condolences during times of sorrow, words of encouragement during times of despair, and share in your happiness through every joy. With that being said, we don’t need a detailed timeline of your day. It’s awesome that you’re stoked about the fit of your new undies, confused about your bodily functions, regretful you just missed your show, etc. but we honestly don’t need a play by play.
If every time your friends or followers browse their feeds they feel it’s been spammed with endless posts from you, it’s very off-putting. You should possibly be looking for a hobby of some sort cause it appears to your friends and followers that you have no life outside of social media. I tend to picture these types sitting behind a computer screen in pajamas and a robe with a huge mixing bowl full of cereal while wearing an aluminum foil hat. They’re probably not that far gone and are just a lil overzealous with the posting.
#4 Trashing your significant other or family on social media will often times make you look just as bad as them.
Your significant other or ex cheated on you, ran you through the mud in some way, left you hurting, turned out to be a deadbeat, etc. It happens to the best of us. You may have a moment of weakness, and post about how angry or hurt you are. I’ll give you that. But post after post trying to air out that person’s dirty laundry in an effort to hurt them can often hurt you too.
Trust me when I tell you that while those posts will garner a good bit of attention, not all of it will be to side with and give support to you.
- #1 We all now see that you like to have everybody in your business, and now know you’re definitely not someone we want in ours.
- #2 We get to see either how much of a mark/victim you can be, or just how evil and cold-hearted you can be. One makes you vulnerable to manipulation, the other lets people know they should never get too close to you.
- #3 We see how full of drama and messiness you are. It also leaves the door open for people to question the role you played in the mess, and make assumptions about how you’re not telling the whole truth. It gives friends and loved ones of the person you’re attacking the opportunity to air YOUR skeletons. And guess what…. We will all watch because you’ve become our entertainment and something to gossip about. Stop it.
#5 Why are you going live?
Do you have a fun event to share with us, good commentary on an interesting topic, street/neighborhood news to report, a product review for us, a business to promote, or are you capturing something super cute with the kids? If not, what are you doing? Seriously, WHAT ARE YOU DOING???
If you’re going live just to twirl your hair, because you’re bored, to hang out on your steps, couch or the corner, or just to be ghetto you need to cut it out. Some people will actually go on for an entire hour doing nothing and do so daily. Some even do it multiple times each day. People roll their eyes every time they see yet another live video of you in their feed. It makes you look desperate for attention. How boring and uneventful is your life in the real world that you even have time to do this?
Again, you may need to look into getting a hobby, meeting new people, or working harder toward securing your financial security. I have a great post HERE that can help you fill that time more productively. Also, if you are committing any kind of illegal activities such as assaulting another person, destroying someone else’s property, illegal possession of firearms, harassing or stalking someone, slandering someone, etc. you kinda have to be a certain kind of “special” to record YOUR OWN damning evidence for the police.
I’m not exactly sure when it became popular to tell on yourself, but folks are so caught up in getting likes and putting on a show to create and maintain their social media facade that it’s happening daily. I guess snitches are becoming obsolete. Go figure.
#6 Stop being so bitter, angry, depressed, Bible/Quran thumping, and needy.
If every other status or meme you post is bitter towards the opposite sex, depressed and all “Woe is me”, angry at the world, Bible/Quran scripture after Bible/Quran scripture, or looking for sympathy and handouts, there are better resources for these things than your timeline.
Look into some of the Facebook groups full of others with the same issues you have. You are more likely to find people who empathize and can contribute in a meaningful way. People in your timeline wish you would just shut up already. Here are a few groups to check into my bitter, angry, Bible/Quran thumping, depressed friends.
#7 Just say no to internet thugging.
I don’t know how many social media arguments I’ve seen where one of the parties decides to take it to the streets. You can usually tell when things have gone from a simple disagreement to all-out war. It usually goes from simple words to cursing each other out in all caps, to talking about what they’d physically do to the other person then finally one party is asking the other to drop a location or telling someone to come to theirs.
9 times out of 10, it’s really not that serious and is just a difference of opinions on some trivial topic that is not integral or central to either party’s life. This is behavior you expect from young kids, not fully grown adults, yet it happens. Anyone with basic common sense knows that what it all boils down to is pride.
What the parties don’t realize is that in an effort to protect your pride, you both just wind up looking foolish. In many cases, you will not cross paths with these people on the street. In cases where you will actually run into these people, do you really want to brawl while out with your children, or when you’re on your way to work? Do you want to see this person on your way to a job interview or networking event? How about when you’re just trying to enjoy a day off from the daily grind?
Grow up already! Yes the rest of us will watch you two act like complete idiots because (And I’m embarrassed to say this) it’s entertaining to us. However, when we discuss your nonsense with our friends and family, we’re not talking about how brave or valiant you look. More often than not we’re talking about how stupid you both look. Do yourself a favor and either ignore or block the person. It’s social media; it’s really not that serious.
#8 Don’t call people through FB messenger!
Many people are very selective about who they let into their social circle. They only admit family, friends, neighbors, and other people they actually know. I’m sure those people don’t have much of a problem in this area. However, there are those of us who are a bit more liberal and will let anyone in that doesn’t appear to be spam. For us, this can be an annoyance.
If you are not a family member, a physical friend of the person, or have not been given a prior invitation by this person to call them, why on earth would you expect someone to want to answer and chit-chat with someone they aren’t even close enough with to give their actual number? It’s weird. It goes from being weird to being creepy when your initial call is ignored, yet you continue to call… persistently.
If getting blocked and unfriended is your goal, by all means, continue. Otherwise, cut it out. No one in their right mind is going to answer, and you should probably be leery of those who have no problem answering unsolicited phone calls from strangers. They more than likely have their own brand of crazy that they are more than happy to share with you.
#9 Proofread, proofread, proofread!
Some of the posts you have to attempt to read will give you a headache. Yes its social media, so speech can be more relaxed, but not so relaxed that it looks like pig Latin or another language altogether. There have been posts that I actually enjoyed engaging in after I deciphered what they were trying to say, but I have to be in the mood to pull out my decoder ring. There are times where I look at a post and think “Nope. Not today. I refuse. ” With Google at your fingertips, there’s just absolutely no reason to present yourself as being so very illiterate. Cut it out.
#10 Don’t be a creep.
When someone admits you into their friend’s list, CHILL OUT! Like a pic or two, comment on a post or two, then sit back and just act…. normal. Opening up your notifications and seeing this…..
scrolling twice and STILL not getting to the end of your notifications for one particular person just doesn’t feel normal. Even if you do creep through each and every photo someone has, don’t like them all. 1 or 2 is flattering, 20+ feels a lil creepy. If you choose to comment on the 1 or 2 pics you liked, be simple. “Nice pic” or “Beautiful/handsome” is cool, but professing your love, desires, and what you want to do sexually to the person are all super weird. Stop that.
Remember that inboxes are more private and personal than the timeline. If this is someone you have had little to no contact with outside of an accepted friend request, just say no to inboxing them. If you want to thank them for the add, post it on their page. You want them to notice you, engage them in conversation day-to-day on their posts. Let the person become familiar with you.
Immediately jumping in your new FB friend’s inbox is something to be avoided. Some people don’t even want a person they’ve known for years hopping in their inbox, let alone someone they barely know. If you met this person in the real world, would you immediately beat it over to their house and start yelling through the mail slot on their front door? Hopefully not. Why? BECAUSE IT’S WEIRD AND CREEPY, and they would probably call the police. Just chill out.
Of course, these aren’t hard and fast concrete rules, but there is definitely a consensus among those polled on this issue. Use this list as your basic outline. It will help make your FB friends’ interactions with you much more relaxed, pleasant, and welcomed so you won’t come off in a less than desirable way.